Just thinking....

Do you ever think about what happens when we die? What do you do on the other side? I wonder if you are still doing callings, or living in family groups? Do they still go to church? Do they still have struggles? I have alot of beliefs but sometimes I want proof!!! Sometimes when I think of my sister Chelsie I have such peaceful feelings. I think she must be here but its nothing like I thought it would be like when someone you know very well dies. I thought you would be able to recognize their familiar spirit. But it is not really like that for me. Sometimes I feel the spirit so strong and I think that she must be trying to tell me things. But I am not very good at it.

Today in church I sat behind these two sisters. One of the sisters was probably 16 or so and her little sister was about 5 or 6. You could just see how much they loved each other. I had a hard time concentrating on the speakers because the memories just came flooding back. When I was a teenager she was my motivation to be good. Just seeing how much she adored and looked up to me helped me to make good choices. I would never disappoint her! She was my baby! I thought I raised her and my Mom always let me think that. (Even though after having my own kids I realized all the work that you do for your kids) She was such a blessing in my life. She unified our family. She helped me in ways that I never realized until she was gone.
I wonder if she is as lonely as we are for her. I'm sure she has loved ones there but not us. Does she feel the "ache" like we do? Is she with us alot or too busy with other responsibilities. I know she is happy. That much I know! But sometimes I am happy too although the ache just never goes away.




I think I would do just about anything to see her again. I wish I could just talk to her for a few minutes, ask her a few questions, laugh about funny things, cry about some sad things, and just be with her. I miss her so much. Someday....